Big Baby Bubba: The Friendly Giant of Big Baby Art World
Big Baby Bubba is, without a doubt, everyone’s favorite oversized toddler. Bubba lives by one philosophy: everybody is his friend, whether they know it or not. He's the first to offer help, the first to join in on the fun, and definitely the first to accidentally break a piece of furniture (or two… or three). People say “bull in a china shop”—but for Bubba, it’s “baby in a breakable world.”
In any setting, Bubba’s boundless enthusiasm tends to leave a memorable mark, like the time he knocked over the cake table at his little brother’s birthday. That was the start of what’s now known as a “Bubba-moment,” where things tend to topple, crack, or—if we're lucky—just wobble. But who can stay mad at Bubba? He’s a giant, grinning teddy bear of a guy, with zero sense of his own strength and a heart just as huge.
Of course, Bubba’s size does come in handy. Sometimes he’s invited to events just to be the “muscle” for friends in need, though he’s usually oblivious to his role. He’ll show up thinking he’s there to make a new friend, only to be told he’s the “bodyguard.” But if anyone tries to take advantage of Bubba’s big, soft heart? Forget it! He'll just smile and say, “Nah, they wouldn’t do that… they’re my friend!”
Jonah Chill: The Eternal Vibe-Seeker
Meet Jonah Chill. He was going to turn into a cat once…but then decided he just wasn’t feeling it. Jonah's catchphrase? "What’s the vibe today?" Sometimes he’ll declare, “Nothing to carry my board,” leaving you to wonder if it's a skateboard, snowboard, surfboard, or maybe some mysterious “life board” he’s referring to. Honestly, no one’s seen it in years, so the mystery lives on as his most elusive accessory.
Jonah’s daily texts keep his friends guessing: “Might hit up the board today, was it filmed?” He’s known for showing up at events and taking his time – Jonah’s got a vibe-based walking pace and will stroll anywhere, seemingly unfazed by the concept of ‘getting there on time.’
You’ll often find him at parties too…hovering around the snack table. His fitness? Well, nobody’s ever called him “out of shape,” and he probably considers his effortless hovering an exercise in zen.
Sick Old Uncle Vern
AGE: Late 70s
Appearance and Health:
Sick Old Uncle Vern is a weathered, elderly man who seems to be perpetually accompanied by a variety of medical equipment. His nose is notably prominent, a feature that Shane (a family member or close acquaintance) often points out. Vern's physical presence is marked by the colostomy bag he carries and the IV lines that are attached to him, filled with fluids of various colors and textures—some boiling, others clearly cold. These peculiar IV contents are a mystery to all, raising doubts about their medical legitimacy. Despite his frail appearance, Vern's eyes gleam with a mischievous light, and he moves with surprising energy for someone of his age and condition.
Personality:
Vern is the quintessential storyteller, armed with a one-liner or anecdote for every conceivable situation. His stories are often long-winded and his jokes frequently veer into the vulgar and inappropriate, delivered at the most inopportune times. Despite this, his intentions are rarely malicious; Vern simply craves laughter and the attention it brings. He is loud and brash, often speaking over others and steering conversations back to himself, but his charisma and humor endear him to those around him, even if they sometimes cringe at his remarks.
Social Behavior:
Vern has an unmistakable affinity for young women, not in a predatory sense, but more as a self-proclaimed charmer and old-school flirt. He prides himself on his ability to deliver a compliment and will go out of his way to interact with women in their early twenties, often regaling them with tales of his younger days. Married seventeen times, Vern considers himself a seasoned romantic, always ready to offer unsolicited advice on love and relationships.
Quirks and Habits:
Incessant Storytelling: No matter the context, Vern has a story to tell. These tales range from his colorful youth to exaggerated accounts of his adventures.
Vulgar Humor: His jokes often cross the line of good taste, particularly in mixed company or formal settings.
Attention-Seeking: Vern loves being the center of attention and will often interrupt others to steer the focus back to himself.
Mystery IV Contents: The fluids in his IV are a constant source of speculation, as their appearance and temperatures change, and their purpose remains unclear.
Charming Younger Women: Vern delights in charming women much younger than himself, always with a compliment or flirtatious remark.
Relationships:
While Vern's abrasive and often inappropriate behavior can be off-putting, his family and close friends understand that his antics come from a place of wanting to connect and entertain. They tolerate his eccentricities because, beneath the layers of crude humor and self-absorption, Vern has a good heart. He is particularly fond of Shane, who seems to be one of the few people who can keep Vern in check with a well-timed comment about his "nose nose."
Legacy:
Sick Old Uncle Vern is a character that leaves a lasting impression. His larger-than-life personality, combined with his relentless pursuit of humor and attention, ensures that he is remembered fondly, if not a bit exasperatedly, by those who know him. His stories and one-liners, no matter how inappropriate, become part of the family's lore, passed down and retold with the same exasperation and affection that Vern himself inspired.
Scurn: The Petty Puppet Master of Big Baby Art World
Meet Scurn, Big Baby Art World’s self-appointed Chief of Bad Vibes. With his perfectly crafted scowl and knack for stirring the pot, he’s always lurking nearby when someone’s feeling down—ready to whisper some “advice” that’ll get them riled up. His method? Zero subtlety, maximum manipulation. If you’re having a bad day, Scurn will pop up out of nowhere, like, “Sounds rough… you should definitely make a scene about it.” And if you don’t react right away? He’ll just keep trying, eager to stir up that drama.
Scurn is a mystery wrapped in bad energy. If you try to get close, he’ll backpedal like a pro, muttering something about “not doing this whole friendship thing.” Turns out he has a soft spot, though he’ll deny it till the end. Rumor has it, he loves blue fairy cat videos, and apparently, he’s been spotted sneaking cotton candy at fairs. If anyone dares bring up cotton candy around him, he flips out like someone just insulted his entire vibe: “Cotton candy? Me? What kind of monster do you think I am?”
His backstory? Let’s just say, he had some rough years growing up—older brothers, name-calling, some unresolved stuff. Now, he carries a chip on his shoulder like it’s going out of style. But somewhere, behind the grump and grudges, Scurn’s just a guy trying to be hardcore… and desperately hiding his love for pink fluffy snacks.
Lizzy Lady: The Everyday Diva of Big Baby Art World
For Lizzy Lady, every step is a grand entrance, every moment a glamorous debut. Crossing the street? It’s her Met Gala. Walking down the stairs? That’s her red-carpet moment. Lizzy struts into every room like flashbulbs are popping, whether she’s just grabbing milk or showing up to a meeting. And if someone in the crowd happens to shout, “Hey! Looking great!” she’ll wave, toss her hair, and assume it’s a well-deserved compliment meant exclusively for her.
Lizzy never holds back on the details of her day. From her morning coffee sip to her afternoon stroll, each move is a story she’s more than thrilled to share. And if no one’s listening? Doesn’t bother her a bit. Lizzy can deliver her updates with the finesse of a Hollywood star giving a press conference—often in the third person, and usually with tangents that could last a solid 15 or 20 minutes.
But here’s the thing: while Lizzy’s world may revolve around herself, she’s surprisingly reliable. Birthday bash? School science fair? Random new café opening? Lizzy will be there, dressed to impress and prepared to support. And yes, she’ll be hoping that her latest outfit gets noticed, but that doesn’t make her any less loyal. After all, what good is a fabulous look without a friend to flaunt it with?
Mr. McAllister: The Self-Made Mogul (Or So He’d Like You to Think)
Meet Mr. McAllister, Big Baby Art World’s very own "real estate mogul" with a dash of flair and a heap of swagger. He may own a handful of properties, but he carries himself like he’s running a global empire—suits tailored to a T (imported fabric, of course) and a puff of smoke from a cigar or the occasional blunt that he insists he only picked up recently. Mr. McAllister comes from humble beginnings, a fact he’d rather no one ever remembers. Should an old friend recall a tale from the “rough and tumble” days, he’ll wave it off, saying something like, “Oh, I’d never do such a thing—must be someone else you’re thinking of, dear.”
Despite his roots in the local neighborhood, Mr. McAllister speaks with a thick (and slightly questionable) British accent—earned from his one-and-only trip to London, which he’s happy to tell you about in great detail. "Everything must be classy," he’ll declare, whether he’s discussing a business deal, his tennis technique, or how to properly arrange hors d’oeuvres for a soirée. Yet, ask him to talk to anyone he considers a “commoner,” and he’ll act as if they’ve brought down the value of his very air.
Though he insists on being addressed as Mr. McAllister (or simply “Sir” if you want his favor), his business advice is questionable at best, involving lots of vague notions about “pinching pennies” and “keeping your distance from undesirable areas.” And while he’s no Big Baby Art World billionaire, you’d never know it from the way he flaunts himself around town. But despite the arrogance, his antics and over-the-top persona are oddly entertaining. Just don’t remind him where he came from—or ask him to drop the accent!
Rufus: The Self-Proclaimed Titan
Meet Rufus, the muscle-bound legend in his own mind, who lives for competition—particularly when it comes to raw strength. To Rufus, books are strictly for the “weak,” and he’s got the biceps (and the catchphrases) to prove it. Known for his bold fashion choices, he’s rarely seen without his signature shorts, which seem to test the limits of physics and everyone else’s comfort level. Rufus claims they’re just a perfect fit, though most bystanders are convinced it’s on purpose.
A former high school nose guard, Rufus still talks about his glory days on the field, often while barefoot. Yes, barefoot—apparently a subtle display of his “dinosaur feet” toughness, which he believes will impress any passerby. If you’re lucky, you might even catch him juggling a boulder or two with those unshod talons, balancing a rock on his foot just to showcase that prehistoric grit.
Although there are plenty of gyms and parks nearby, Rufus prefers the great outdoors for his workouts—preferably where everyone can witness his strength in action. Whether he’s bench-pressing a log, doing lunges with a nearby park bench, or engaging in some shirtless shadowboxing, he’s committed to flaunting those muscles. And he’s got a thing for kneepads, even on rest days or casual Sundays. It’s all part of the “working man” look, or so he says.
Rufus is rarely seen without a torn-up tank top or ripped sleeves, which he shreds himself for optimal “flex appeal.” Rumor has it he’s got a stack of muscle magazines at home and may or may not sneak a peek at the photos for “inspiration”—but don’t mention that to him; he’ll deny it faster than he can do a bicep curl. This whole tough-guy act may be paper-thin, but hey, Rufus will keep you entertained with every flex, stomp, and rock-juggling spectacle.
Ali-O: The Community Philosopher
Meet Ali-O, the neighborhood’s official "observer" and self-appointed artist-in-residence. No matter where he is or how recent your last interaction, he greets you with his signature, “Hey, how ya doin’?” You could have hung up on him five seconds ago, and if you call right back, he’s still starting fresh with that deep Brooklyn accent—straight out of the ’80s, with a hint of nostalgia and a dash of “my Uncle Donnie and Fettuccine used to run these streets.”
Ali-O is all about assessing things, usually with his arms folded or his fingers thoughtfully tapping his chin. If he’s nodding, you’re golden; if he’s frowning, well, maybe not. He’s been known to look at something as simple as a sandwich or a kid’s finger painting with the same intensity he’d give to a priceless art piece. Why? Because at the tender age of 58, Ali-O’s got a new mission in life: to become a legendary artist.
Decked out in paint-splattered sweats and his trusty house slippers, Ali-O is the self-proclaimed love child of Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci. He’ll remind you of his artistic heritage, even though he just picked up his first paintbrush last spring when his granddaughter handed it to him during arts and crafts. But that doesn’t stop him from talking art like he’s had a lifelong calling.
In a confrontation, the real Ali-O still shows up—the guy who could hold his own on the old neighborhood streets and make a killer Sunday sauce, but who also secretly dreams of fame in Big Baby Art World. No matter how refined he tries to appear, slicking back his hair and quoting dead painters, Ali-O’s still our Ali from Brooklyn, with his larger-than-life stories, his ever-fresh “how ya doin’?”, and his never-ending quest for artistic greatness.
Oh, Granny Gretchen—a true legend of the neighborhood, and not for the reasons you’d hope. Picture this: gray hair tied in a tight bun, a cigarette dangling precariously from her lips, and the faint scent of smoke that seems to announce her arrival before you ever see her. She’s got the gait of someone who’s spent a lifetime hollering, “Get off my lawn!”—and yet, somehow, she’s always pregnant. Yes, you heard that right. Pregnant. Constantly. Like, perpetually incubating something, and frankly, no one knows what.
Her belly isn’t your typical baby bump, either. Oh, no. It’s a lumpy, mysterious shape, almost as if she’s smuggling a litter of baby raccoons—or perhaps a set of bowling pins. People try not to stare, but you can’t help but wonder: Is it triplets? Quadruplets? A watermelon? One brave soul swore they saw something kick in three different directions at once.
Granny Gretchen owns an absurd amount of property, which is wild considering no one’s ever seen her mow a lawn or pay a bill. Yet, she spends her days policing the neighborhood kids like she’s auditioning for a role as the mean old lady in every scary story ever told. "Stop all that racket!" she screeches at children whose “offense” is daring to play tag or, heaven forbid, laugh too loudly. “You kids are gonna learn one day!” she warns, shaking a finger menacingly. About what, no one’s sure. Probably how to avoid her.
As for those “babies” she’s always talking about? Never seen 'em. Not once. There are rumors—oh, the rumors. Some say she keeps them locked in her basement. Others think they’re imaginary. A particularly wild tale involves her "babies" being actual ghosts, haunting her with their cries of, "Why, Mom, why?" But no one’s ever had the guts to ask. Granny Gretchen’s glare could turn milk sour, and her cackle when she catches someone staring? Chilling.
Even if you’re the type to give her the benefit of the doubt, you can’t shake the feeling that something’s...off. Why’s she always pregnant? Why are the bumps on her stomach shaped like a sack of potatoes instead of a baby? And why, for the love of all things good, does she seem so delighted to keep us guessing? Whatever the truth may be, one thing’s for sure: Granny Gretchen will always leave you scratching your head—and keeping your distance.
Name: Cool Whiff Junior
Lil' Big Baby is twelve going on thirty-five. He’s a preteen with a heart full of high school dreams and an encyclopedic knowledge of 1980s Earth fashion—even though he’s never actually been to Earth. He dresses like a lost member of EPMD, sports a box haircut so sharp it could slice toast, and wears more gold chains than a grandma’s jewelry drawer.
He walks around Big Baby Artworld like he's late for a music video shoot, quoting Big Daddy Kane lyrics he only half understands and randomly throwing up peace signs during math class. Speaking of class, don’t let the cool guy act fool you—Lil’ Big Baby is pulling straight A’s in Algebra, but he’ll crumple his test and say, “Man, this was too easy,” before moonwalking out of the room.
His older brother is a local legend: he played high school football, did one actual play in the Arena Football League (a screen pass that lost 2 yards), and may or may not be “working on a mixtape and some court stuff.” Lil’ Big Baby worships him and tries to act “hard,” but the worst trouble he ever got into was illegally downloading a geometry app.
When he’s not trying to impress the older kids, he’s leading skits in art class, showing off his sticker collection, or low-key crying at motivational movies. He’s torn between being a great student and looking like a misunderstood street poet—but no matter what, he’s got the freshest shoulder pads and the dopest old-school kicks on the block.
Character Description: Drowsy Drewer
Name: Drowsy Drewer
Nickname: Drewer, Drewer Drowsy
Age: Late 30s
Occupation: Partygoer, Insomniac Extraordinaire
Drowsy Drewer is a fixture in the vibrant world of Big Baby Artworld, known for his perpetually tired demeanor and his laid-back, almost lethargic presence. After spending his formative years from 15 to 35 indulging in a non-stop whirlwind of parties, Drewer is now paying the price. His sleep-deprived lifestyle has left him with heavy-lidded eyes that he struggles to keep open, and an energy level that can best be described as languid.
Despite his fatigue, Drewer remains a constant presence at social gatherings, though his participation is much different than it once was. His voice is soft and even, lacking the enthusiasm it once held. His demeanor is so unobtrusive that people often forget he's there, even when he's spent the entire day in their company. Drowsy Drewer is never angry; his calm, unflappable nature has earned him a reputation for being "even-keeled" and "mediocre" in the most literal sense.
Though his energy has waned, his commitment to the party scene has not. Drewer's tired eyes and gentle voice have become a comforting presence for those who know him, a reminder of the relentless spirit that once defined him and the mellow peace he now embodies.
📚 Name: Professor Wobblebuck, Ph.D, D.D.S., (he's not a dentist, he just likes the letters)
Occupation: Professor of History / Accidental Crypto Prophet / Campus Grandfather of the Year (unofficially, but every year)
Catchphrase: “Well butter my syllabus and call it a semester!”
Professor Wobblebuck is the kind of man who will derail a lecture about the Industrial Revolution to passionately warn students about investing in “weirdly aggressive fruit-based NFTs.” He technically teaches history, but he's also the first person in the Artworld to correctly predict a currency based on digital potatoes back in the ‘90s. ("Nobody listened," he sighs, “but I told 'em... SpudCoin was coming.”)
He's got snow-white hair that fluffs out like the pages of a well-loved book, a massive tweed blazer that may or may not be sentient, and reading glasses so thick they double as microscopes. His pockets are filled with:
Crumpled quizzes
Loose Werther’s Originals
A thumb drive labeled “The Renaissance but Spicier”
And an emergency fishing hook “just in case”
This man is always learning, always teaching. He grades essays at red lights, reads textbooks while brushing his teeth, and once gave an entire lecture while fishing in a koi pond in the quad. (“Koi listen better than most freshmen,” he said.)
He’s beloved by students. Partially because he bakes cookies that taste like Wikipedia, but mostly because he listens, cheers them on, and explodes with joy whenever someone understands anything. A student once sneezed and said “feudalism,” and he clapped for seven straight minutes.
Despite his age, he’s oddly tech-forward. He uses 12 different note-taking apps he doesn’t remember downloading. He once accidentally mined 3 Bitcoins while trying to play online Sudoku.
Notable Quotes:
“The past is a guidebook… and sometimes a slightly drunk uncle.”
“You don’t get tenure. You earn it… with snacks.”
“Knowledge is like a fishing rod—you never know when you’ll catch a thought.”
Twandaehlyasia
Age: She’s a Lady! (She would never tell)
In the heart of Big Baby Artworld, where colors scream and shapes shimmy, lives the ever-glossy, ever-glowing Twandaleeasia … or as she grandly introduces herself, QANDYLIYSSIAH (pronounced Quando, Lee Asia, Cuando, Liège). She always stretches out every syllable, as if her name alone is a symphony, twinkling her fingers like she's casting a spell of fabulousness.
"I'M a laaaady," she proclaims with a dramatic flourish, rubbing Jupiter cream (which she swears is imported directly from the gaseous planet itself) onto her elbows. No one has ever questioned her lady status … not even once … but she insists on reminding everyone just in case they forgot in the last five seconds.
Her skin glistens with a mixture of cocoa butter, baby oil, and what appears to be at least three layers of glitter. Lips perpetually slick with lip gloss so shiny it reflects distant galaxies, she swans around Big Baby Artworld in the brightest hues imaginable. Neon greens, electric pinks, metallic purples … often all at once. Her hair? A rotating display of alien wigs and interstellar weaves, each strand infused with cosmic dust and changing colors with her mood.
Twandaleeasia rarely offers her own opinion, but oh, she’s got reactions for days. She’s the hype woman of every argument, punctuating debates with a symphony of hums, gasps, and finger snaps. "Yaaasss, child!" she'll croon to a tiny dinosaur alien from the Sin-Depth-Noid region, who’s passionately debating the ethics of space cookie taxation. She waves her perfectly manicured fingers in the air like she’s directing an invisible choir, nodding along with every word.
Her best friend, Jymkwantennyasia, is almost always by her side … another alien diva with a name so similar, it confuses everyone except them. They flounce around together like a synchronized dance troupe, chiming in unison during public disputes. If someone so much as raises a voice in Big Baby Artworld, you can bet Wanda and Jim are already in the background, gesturing wildly and making melodramatic noises like two sentient soundboards.
"Don’t let ME tell you what I’m saying, honey," Wanda will declare, twirling her magenta weave like a lasso, "but he WILL seal it!" What this means is anyone’s guess, but the conviction in her voice makes it sound profound.
Presumably, Twandaleeasia has a home somewhere in Big Baby Artworld, but she’s rarely spotted anywhere but the middle of whatever scene is most dramatic. She floats from chaos to chaos like a cosmic butterfly, leaving trails of glitter and faint whiffs of Jupiter cream in her wake. And just when you think she might finally share her true thoughts, she smacks her glossy lips, flips her hair, and whispers, "Unfollow, deli Asia. I’m a lady."
And honestly? No one would dare argue otherwise.
Name: Mildrad the Misunderstood
Occupation: Alleged Wizard / Part-Time Candle Shop Clerk
Alignment: Chaotic Chill
Catchphrase: “Excuse me… may I just squeeze past you there?”
Mildrad the Misunderstood walks through the world robed in mystery—and also just... in a robe. With long, flowing hair like a shampoo commercial for bards and a beard that birds might live in, he radiates what scholars refer to as “ambient wisdom.” He wears a single dangly earring, not because of any sacred magical order, but because he once lost the other one in a laundromat and just went with it.
To the townsfolk of Artworld, he is a sage, a prophet, a vessel of ancient truths. To his coworkers at “Thyme to Smell: Artisan Candle Emporium,” he’s just Greg. But none of that stops people from approaching him on the street, whispering things like:
“Great Wizard, what is the path to inner peace?”
“Oh Wise One, how can I rekindle love with my ex who became a life coach?”
“Sir, is this the bus to West Portal?”
In truth, Mildrad doesn’t mean to give out life-altering advice. Sometimes he just shrugs and says, “Maybe you should drink more water?” And the people nod solemnly, tears streaming down their faces, whispering, “So wise…”
He often places his hands together in a prayer pose—not in deep meditation—but because it's just super comfy and he doesn’t know what else to do with them.
When he walks, he glides. When he speaks, people assume it's poetry, even if he's just asking where the bathroom is. Children curtsy instinctively. Birds land on his shoulder and then get bored and leave.
He doesn’t mind the attention. Well, maybe he does. But in the end, he’ll always stop to nod knowingly and say:
“Life is a journey… unless you take the shortcut behind the fire station.”
Name: Lazlo the Lizard of Love
Age: Emotionally 23, physically fossilizing
Zodiac: 100% Saggytarius
Profession: Full-time Viber, part-time protest mascot, unpaid beer model
Lazlo is a retired peace warrior from the legendary (and suspiciously undocumented) Battle of the Backyard Firepits, a movement that tried to stop "whatever that one war was" back in the sixties. He once chained himself to a goat in protest. It didn't work, but the goat now sends him Christmas cards.
These days, Lazlo can be found exactly where you'd expect: loitering near public grills, holding a lukewarm pint of something foamy, flashing the peace sign like he invented it, and letting his single remaining strand of purple hair flap in the wind like a flag of semi-functionality.
He’s almost always in the same outfit: crusty yellow T-shirt (belly escaping), shorts that haven’t seen the inside of a washing machine since disco died, and purple knee socks shoved into sandals with medicinal defiance. And let’s not ignore his legendary sock-wood phenomenon: somehow, every time he walks through a park, twigs spontaneously appear in his socks. Scientists are baffled.
His tail? Stiff from too much hammock time. His speech? Slurred, but peaceful. His eyes? Droopy enough to have their own hammocks. He offers advice no one asked for, usually beginning with “Back in my day…” and ending with “…so that’s why I don’t trust dolphins.”
He was once the face of the underground zine “Mellow Now, Apocalypse Later” and still insists vinyl sounds better even when he's playing it on a Bluetooth speaker made from an old fish tank.
Catchphrases:
“Violence? Nah, man. Let’s just hug until the problem forgets us.”
“Every day is no-pants day, if your mind is free.”
“You feel that? That’s the universe burping.”
Notable Facts:
He has an invisible pet named “Dr. Floop”
Claims he invented kombucha (he didn’t)
Wakes up at 2PM and immediately starts asking if it’s “beer o’clock”
Character Description: Big Bae Ruthie
AGE: her late 30s
Big Bae Ruthie, now in her late 30s, is a formidable figure with a unique and complex background. Born into a family where her father longed for a son, Ruthie was the youngest of several daughters. Her father, determined to have a child who could match the boys, raised Ruthie as if she were one of them. This unconventional upbringing meant Ruthie was always in skirmishes and fights with the boys, proving time and again that she was just as strong and capable.
When Ruthie was born in the early 80s, the doctors were unsure about her gender. In an era without today's nuanced understanding, they simply checked one box or the other on her birth certificate. With characteristics that could fit both male and female, Ruthie's identity was a mix of both, which her father embraced in his own way, emphasizing her strength and equality with men.
Physically, Ruthie stands tall at 6'4", a solid and imposing presence. Her voice is deeper than most women’s, and she has a constant 5 o’clock shadow that requires diligent grooming. Despite these traditionally masculine traits, Ruthie presents herself as a woman, holding firmly to her feminine identity. Her medical history supports her claim, showing a hormonal balance that leans slightly towards estrogen.
Ruthie’s relationships with men have been complicated. Her father’s influence left her with a fierce sense of equality and strength, sometimes manifesting in aggressive ways. Frustration often leads her to headlock her boyfriends or assert dominance in physical confrontations. Yet, Ruthie also has a nurturing side; she loves to cradle her boyfriends like babies, which is part of why she earned the nickname "Big Bae."
Her insistence on traditional chivalry—such as opening doors for men—reveals her unique blend of strength and nurturing. Ruthie is a good-hearted person, never afraid to show her strength, especially when standing up for other women against men. She is a loyal friend and a protector, often finding herself in the role of defender for those who cannot defend themselves.
Despite her masculine appearance, Ruthie is unyielding in asserting her femininity. She carries her medical papers to prove her identity when questioned, which shows a hormonal composition with a clear 53% estrogen. Ruthie’s journey is a testament to the complexity of gender and identity, and she lives her life unapologetically, embodying both strength and compassion in equal measure.
Character Description: Big Baby Dogg
AGE: Unknown
Big Baby Dogg, simply known as one of the coolest beings in the world, is a living embodiment of 1990s rap culture. Everything about him—from the way he talks, walks, and interacts with others—seems like it’s straight out of a classic rap video. Patterning much of his life after his teenage idol, a legendary rapper from the '90s known for the iconic song "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang," Big Baby Dogg has adopted a unique persona. He adds a “G” to any word ending in “G” because, as he puts it, “I’m a G, and I gotta add the G’s, baby.” This phrase is his signature line.
Despite his imposing nickname, tattooed face, and large chains, Big Baby Dogg never really grew up. He still wears his pants sagging low and walks with a pronounced limp. His preferred method of relaxation involves herbal remedies, which often transport him to a dreamlike state of oblivion.
Big Baby Dogg has a special way with older women, always treating them with utmost respect. He lives by a personal code of honor: he gives respect generously but will not hesitate to respond in kind to any disrespect directed at him. His life is guided by an unwritten set of rules, with a particular affinity for the color blue.
Although Big Baby Dogg is never the loudest in the room and rarely raises his voice, his presence is always felt. His effortless swagger is admired by many, particularly ladies his age. Younger kids, including Big Baby Artworld and his friends, often try to emulate his style, seeing him as the epitome of cool.
Big Baby Dogg is a figure who commands respect through his demeanor and actions, embodying a timeless coolness that bridges generations.
Steelio Smashbaby
(AKA “The Black & Gold Butterball”)
🍼 Character Description (Big Baby Artworld Edition):
Steelio Smashbaby is one of the most loyal—and loudest—citizens of Big Baby Artworld, waddling around in custom mini pads, a bottle-shaped mouthguard, and a Terrible Towel cape. He’s never actually been to Earth, but he is a die-hard fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers, which he learned about by accidentally chewing through a wormhole in the diaper dimension and watching reruns of NFL films through a static-screaming baby monitor.
Despite the fact that Big Baby Artworld’s version of football—called "Wiggle-Tackle No-Gravity Bounce Smash"—has completely different rules (and way more pudding), Steelio insists on using real Earth NFL rules in every playground game. This, of course, results in endless delay-of-game penalties, offside snack attacks, and frequent time-outs for nap-related violations.
He’s always in black and gold, talks nonstop about the Steel Curtain like he was born in 1974, and yells things like:
“That’s a flag! You can’t burp on the kicker!”
“We’re in the red zone—pass me the juice box!”
“Run it back, like Franco Baby!”
Other Big Babies just nod, smile, and pretend to understand, mostly because Steelio brings the best post-game snacks (he calls them “Victory Puffs”).
He’s also working on a Big Baby Artworld fantasy football league, even though none of the teams are real, and the draft consists of who can throw a football the farthest without crying.
JYMKWANTENNYASIA
(pronounced how she wants, depending on the drama level)
✨ Character Description:
In the radiant, rhinestone-studded drama-scape of Big Baby Artworld, JYMKWANTENNYASIA is one-half of the galaxy’s most emotionally synchronized pair of alien divas—the other half being her bestie, soulmate, and chaotic twin flame: TWANDAEHLYASIA.
The two are inseparable. Like... actually in sync to a level that confuses surveillance drones. They float into every situation like a glitter cyclone, flouncing, posing, side-eyeing, and snapping in perfect time. When one speaks, the other gasps. When one claps, the other spins. When one starts a sentence, the other finishes it with cosmic sass and an implied mic drop.
They are walking soundboards, known to hover ominously behind public arguments, arguing with facial expressions alone. If a debate escalates past mild shade in Big Baby Artworld, JYM and TWANDA are already mid-air, arms crossed, doing a full-body gasp in 4/4 time.
“UH-UH, DON’T LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I’M SAYING—”
(“—BUT HE WILL SEAL IT.”)
What does it mean? No one knows. But it makes people apologize immediately.
👠 BUT HERE’S THE TWIST:
Privately?
JYMKWANTENNYASIA is kind of... normal.
Once the sequined spotlight fades, JYM quietly removes her 7-foot butterfly lashes, kicks off her platform marshmallow boots, and sits in a corner drinking lukewarm decaf space tea, whispering things like:
“Girl, that was exhausting. My back hurts from the twirl.”
She likes quiet puzzles, folds her laundry with alien precision, and has a secret scrapbook of Earth raccoons doing yoga. She dreams of opening a whisper-only salon called “Shhh-ade.”
But the moment she sees TWANDAEHLYASIA float by in a dramatic cape made of old gift wrap?
The Diva Switch flips.
Fingers snap. Lips gloss. Neck rolls.
It’s time to cause emotional earthquakes again.
Name: BronBron Bouncebaby
(AKA “The Queen of the Bounce House Court”)
Hometown: Big Baby Artworld’s “Baller Block”
Fave Athlete (and Life Philosopher): LeBron James. Forever. End of story. Stop asking.
BronBron Bouncebaby is one of the greatest athletes in all of Big Baby Artworld—fast, fearless, and full of facts about LeBron James. She’s been besties with Little Baby Artworld and Steelio Smashbaby since their diaper derby days, and she’s always ready to hoop, help, or hilariously yell about how “LeBron woulda passed it better!”
She rocks a custom Cavs jersey-onesie, glittered-up headbands, and squeaky light-up sneakers that somehow never run out of battery. She’s quick to dunk and even quicker to shout:
“LeBron over Jordan! All. Day. Long.”
The moment she hears someone say "MJ's the GOAT," she throws a foam basketball in the air and walks away in slow motion like she just dropped a mic.
🛸 Big Baby Lore Alert!
According to BronBron Bouncebaby’s unverified but VERY confident story, Dr. James Naismith didn’t invent basketball alone—he was visited by a friendly alien toddler from Big Baby Artworld who handed him a peach basket and a scroll that just said "Try bouncing it." Of course, no Earth adult believes this, but BronBron’s pretty sure that’s why so many Earth players are “half as good as Big Baby hoopers.”
🏀 Her Signature Moves:
The Crossover Cradle Slam
The Spin-N-Sippy Fadeaway
The Block-You-Then-Hug-You Defense System
She’s a total tomboy, always diving for loose balls, climbing jungle gyms to practice verticals, and showing up to tea parties just to dunk the cookies and shout "Slam jam, sugar fam!"
Even when she’s not playing, BronBron Bouncebaby is drawing up plays on her toy tablet, building mini hoops out of cereal boxes, or trying to convince the other babies that LeBron could totally beat aliens in 1-on-1—which makes for very intense lunchroom debates.
🐐 Bonus Quote:
“LeBron’s got rings, records, rebounds, and recipes for greatness. Jordan didn’t even play in the Bubble, bruh!”
Name: Giggle McGimme (real name redacted due to ongoing IRS audits)
Age: 7 (possibly eternal)
Occupation: Fundraising General / Holiday Performance Dictator / Local Girl Scout CEO
Catchphrase: “You’re gonna donate… right?” (followed by 12 seconds of unbroken eye contact)
Giggle McGimme is no ordinary seven-year-old. She may be small, but in the Artworld, she’s a terrifyingly effective fundraising phenom and emotional blackmail specialist with the organizational power of a Fortune 500 CEO trapped in a glitter-splattered unicorn costume.
She’s always in a holiday outfit. Easter bonnet? She’s got six. Valentine's tap shoes? Worn out. Fourth of July interpretive ballet? You better believe there’s ribbon twirling and slow motion explosions. Her performances are mandatory. If you say no, she'll do her sad bunny face—and the town will remember.
Giggle doesn’t talk much. She just shows up, tilts her giant doe-eyes at you like a Pixar character left unsupervised, and you find yourself Venmo-ing her for "Socks for Squirrels" or "Moonlight Ballet for Retired Hamsters." You don’t even question it. No one does. You just pay. You must pay.
Rumor has it she funds over 70 separate causes. No one knows if they’re real. But she does have an office, a gavel made of candy canes, and a tiny velvet chair at the Mayor’s Council meetings. Her enemies mysteriously find boxes of unsold cookies on their doorstep… every day… for years.
Some say she’s the spirit of capitalism. Others say she’s just really good at PowerPoint. One thing’s for sure:
If Giggle knocks, your wallet talks.
Character Description Turbo Tina
Nick Names: Goggles McSpeed a.k.a. Testostera T a.k.a. Coach Crash
